oh yeah? can you throw a tree?"
i went to the scottish games in pleasanton, california on saturday. basically, burly guys in kilts carrying claymores on their backs throwing large stones [called "putting the stone"] or really big logs [the caber toss] while saying things like, "nay, it's crap" and eating things like haggis. it's interesting because a lot of the people that do renaissance faires [rennies] also show up here in full "dungeons and dragons" attire. really that's what the whole time period is for a lot of people; like a big real-world everquest game, or an outtake from xena the warrior princess. some of the girls that show up for these things will make you bite through your bottom lip, though. petite women with long, dark, braided hair, facial jewelry, scantily clad in revealing croptops and patch-cloth skirts, wearing belly chains around their flat stomachs, and ... grr [think of baseball, think of baseball].

less braveheart tourists, though, so that's good. back when braveheart came out, all you'd see at every booth is the "authentic william wallace claymore". that movie made scottish, irish, and renaissance faires really trendy. it was suddenly cool to be irish or scottish. that seems to have faded, at least from my vantage point.

one annoying thing about the scottish games is the vendors. anything that's big enough to slap a scottish emblem on is marketed as "authentic". i suppose it goes with the territory, but it's still urksome. and of course, people buy it. at one point after lunch, i'm walking by and notice two guys [probably late-teens] gawking over a cheaply made "ninja" sword. one says to the other, as if they're both suddenly experts on sword workmanship, "hmm ... good balance. yes, good quality sword." hey, i'm into weapons as much as the next male, maybe more so, but c'mon. it's a fucking pakistani knock-off that you're buying at a scottish games festival. do you really think it's a quality piece of steel? too funny. for lunch i had a shepherd's pie, which is seasoned beef, corn, peas, and mashed potatoes in a pie crust. mmm, mmm, good. in the afternoon, we watched [bag]pipe band competitions, and the heavy events from shaded stadium seats.

quick lesson in the sport of caber toss: contestant "a" picks up a twenty foot log, balancing it vertically on one end. he then gets a bit of a running start, stops suddenly, and tries to throw the log end over end. the goal isn't actually distance, it's straightness of throw. if you manage to throw it all the way over its own end, then the score is based on the angle. straight up vertically would be considered 12 o'clock, a perfect score. a little to either side would be 11 o'clock or 1 o' clock, which isn't as good, but still good, etc. you get the idea. it sounds much easier than it actually is. for me, i think i'll just keep my involvement with that sport limited to a spectator level, but still trick to watch. Matt @ 10:58 PM