breaking news: people are stupid.
no wait that's not breaking news. just the email subject line of a new virus. i'm amazed that people still open unknown attachments from people they've never heard of, or fall for the million dollar money transfer from zimbabwe or where the fuck ever. this post is directed to those people:

HEY! OLD PEOPLE, AOL USERS, AND ILLITERATE FUCKS [yes i realize the irony of addressing those who can't read]! PLEASE ASK YOUR CHILDREN FOR HELP! this is the generation of the internet. chances are, if your kids know what a computer is, they probably know a hell of a lot more about how to use it than you do. so ask them for help. i know we have parental controls to keep our children from visiting sites they shouldn't, but i swear to gawd a better internet filter system would be to make parents clear any new mail attachments with their children prior to opening them.

grandma: jimmy junior, this email is asking me to help them transfer several million dollars. can you go into my purse and get my wallet? these poor people. god bless them.
jimmy: NO! its a scam, grandma. don't do it!
grandma: its too late. i already clicked it. was i not supposed to click it?
jimmy: AAAARRGGHHH!
grandma: well it said click here, so i did.
jimmy: well you're not supposed to, grandma.
grandma: then they shouldn't put on there for me to click here.
jimmy: its a scam, grandma. they want to steal your identity and empty your bank account.
grandma: now why would anybody wanna do that? hmm?
jimmy: gawd dammit, grandma! cuz they're scam artists! that's why!
grandma: didn't anybody ever tell them that crime doesn't pay?
jimmy: this isn't perry mason, grandma. this is real life. if crime didn't pay, people wouldn't keep committing crimes.
grandma: you're so negative, jimmy. you get that from your father. you know in my day...
jimmy: what the hell are you talking about, grandma? you just gave all your bank account information to a person you've never met, will never hear from again, and who, by the way, can't even spell yahoo correctly. how does all that make _me_ negative?
grandma: you're so difficult.
jimmy: AAAAAAHHHHHH! Matt @ 6:44 PM